My Christmas...

So I’m sick for Christmas. Not good. But I did have a nice day other than the sickness.

My gifts:

* My first pair of Sperry Topsiders (Angelfish in Greige Nubuck/Tattersall color)
* A silver-colored business card case with my initials engraved in the cover
* Cosmetic brushes
* Nine West sunglasses
* Get Smart movie
* Enchanted movie
* The Goonies movie
* A new set of ear bud headphones
* A portable speaker for my i-pod
* A whole stocking full of chocolate
* A large picture of Audrey Hepburn to hang on my wall (lovely)
* Two sets of Vera Bradley padded hangers. So pretty.
* A pair of Isotoner leather gloves with faux fur on the inside

And we ate cinnamon rolls for breakfast, BBQ sandwiches for lunch, and cheddar potato chowder and cornbread for supper. All interspersed with chocolate at random times. :)

Oh, and the coolest part is that it snowed. In Georgia. On Christmas Day. We havent had a White Christmas in 130 years. So yeah. It’s a big deal. :)

How was your Christmas?

Finals

My first final is tomorrow, and surprisingly I'm not nervous or stressed out. Maybe it's just old hat to me now, I don't know. Or maybe I have accepted that I will not make high grades in law school. However, I feel like I will be doing my best when I take these exams.

Sure, I could have studied more, read more, slept less, stressed more, outlined more, memorized more, etc. But I am happy with myself, and I refuse to put myself on a guilt trip and get upset.

I realized the other day how different law school graduation in May will be from undergrad graduation. When I graduated undergrad (Summa Cum Laude, 7th in the class), I was berating myself for not getting all A's - for not working harder in the 3 classes that I made B's. For not being 6th, or 5th, or 4th, or 3rd.

Yet this graduation, I will be pleased as punch to be graduating at all. I'm pretty sure that I am somewhere in the middle of the class, and I'm ok with that. I won't be counting how many people are in front of me, I won't be wishing I had more extracurriculars on my resume, and I won't be upset with myself for not having special honors or achievements. I'll be smiling just as much as #1 when I walk across and take my diploma.

Law school has been the hardest thing I have ever, ever done. I have stretched myself FAR beyond the point that I thought I could stretch. I have pushed myself, abused myself, gone from emotional highs to very dark lows. But I've made it through.

And looking back, I'm proud at the strength that I've shown. Would I ever pick this road again if I could do it over? Absolutely not. But I am surprised at the tenacity and the inner fortitude that law students are forced to develop.

I have changed in ways that I don't like. I've become less emotional (almost cold sometimes), and I've become even LESS sociable that I was before. I don't trust people, and I have very little hope for this world.

But I feel like, once I graduate, I will be able to find the fun side of me again. I'll be able to be almost anything that I want to be and do anything I want to do. I'll have free time again. I'll be able to read novels again. I'll be able to have a few hobbies again. I'll make money again!

And I'll be back home.

All that's standing between me and home is two more rounds of finals. :)

Boys who play guitar... *I MELT*

Evaluating...

Only three more weeks of this semester left. I can't wait! I'm sure I'll be working at a law office during Christmas break, but at least I'll have the evenings and weekends all to myself and not have to worry about doing homework or writing papers or studying.

It will be a huge sigh of relief to get me ready for my final semester of law school. And then LIFE. I've never been more excited to work full time. I'll have my own income. MY income. That doesn't come from a government student loan.

I have so many ideas about what I want to do. I feel like law school has been this really odd prison of sorts. I have to do my time to be able to live free.

There have been good things about law school.
1. At my first school (I tranferred the end of my 1L year), I made a beautiful group of friends. I really miss them. Dawn, Erica, Mike, Melissa, Travis, Penny, and Stephen. Also Minnellis (who I had been friends with in undergrad first. Minnellis is my Puerto Rican sister). I feel like I had more time to socialize there and to make good friendships.
2. At this current school, I've made friends as well. But I don't feel like it's the same as it was before. I don't know if it was the transfer putting me into an already established social atmostphere or what. But I have made friends here. Amy, Meredith, Hannah (who just got engaged! whoot whoot!), Clennon (who I was already friends with from undergrad), Kerri, Anna, Kasia, Roman (and his adorable wife Heather), and others. But I still really miss my first law school friends (especially Dawn). I don't know why the atmosphere here is so different and less conducive to social relationships here. It doesn't really make sense.
3. Another good thing about law school is that it has forced me to think and learn in a completely different way. I think logically and in compartments. I always have to an extent, but I'm more of a list person now than I ever was.
4. Law school has also taught me how to communicate more effectively. I think about how my sentences are structured and what my words mean before I even say them.
5. I've learned to make better arguments without "arguing." I guess that would go under the communication as well.
6. Law school has made me realize so much about myself. I think I know who I am now and know what I want and like more. Sure, there are huge areas in my life where I have no idea what is going to happen, but I'm learning to not worry and stress about it. Things will fall in place and happen when they are supposed to happen.
7. I've learned to appreciate my family so much more. When I hardly ever get to see them, the time that I do have with them is so much more precious that I could ever have imagined it being before.
8. I'm much less emotional than I was before law school. I haven't decided if that's a good thing or not. I guess it's a good thing that I am more able to keep my composure, but I don't think that it's a good thing that I often feel "cold" or "indifferent" about so much. I'll need to work on finding a good balance.
9. I've become more opinionated about many things, but I've also learned to keep many of my opinions to myself. I've learned to be more "tactful," I guess.
10. I've learned that I am naturally a restless person with an old soul. I don't know how that's going to work into my future life, but I'll just have to wait and see.

Although I consider law school overall to have been a highly negative experience, I can definitely see the good that is coming from it.

If I think of anything else, I will definitely have to add it to the list later.

My ranting blog ended up being a "give thanks" blog....

I've been spending some time recently evaluating my life and deciding whether I am happy or not with where I am.

Cons

1. My relationship with my boyfriend is not perfect (but no relationship ever is).
2. I have an enormous amount of student loan debt.
3. I'm fifteen pounds heavier than I want to be.
4. I am unmotivated to do my assignments for school.
5. I'm always tired.
6. I spend way too much time wasting time.
7. I haven't read near as many books as I planned to by this time in my life.
8. I can count my true friends on one hand.
9. I haven't marked anything off my bucket list in a very long time.
10. Law school is killing me softly.
11. Law school makes me feel incompetent and unintelligent.
12. I really feel like I'm stuck in the same place while everyone around me continues to move forward. I've felt this way off and on for a very long time.
13. I struggle with depression.

Pros
1. I have a boyfriend, and he loves me and is willing to work hard to fix our problems.
2. I have a job for the year following graduation.
3. I am not obese, and I have no food allergies, so I truly enjoy the food I eat.
4. I only have 3.5 weeks left of this semester.
5. I have a wonderful family that loves me and supports me in any way that I need.
6. I have true friends to count.
7. I have my senses of sight, hearing, smell, touch, and taste.
8. I wasn't killed in that car wreck in 2008.
9. Even though I struggle with depression, I have people that I can talk to about it, and depression will not drag me down.
10. I only have 6 months left of law school.
11. I am only as unhappy and dissatisfied as I choose to be ("I have learned, in whatever state I am, therewith to be content." - The Apostle Paul)
12. I am intelligent. I am competent. The competitive agressiveness of law school is a pointless crapshoot since high grades doth not a successful person make.
13. I have the ability to be and do anything I want to.
14. Jesus loves me.

The more I write this post, the more I realize that what started as a pity post about how disappointing my life is has become a reality check to myself. I am myself. I am not my circumstances. I am not my surroundings. And I can choose to not allow my circumstances and surroundings to negatively affect me.

This has been a post.

The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

NOT hatred, sorrow, discord, provocation, cruelty, meanness, dishonesty, mercilessness, and self-indulgence.

To all of you out there who have experienced the latter list of qualities from anyone who claims to be a “Christian,” I apologize for them. The point of the religion and lifestyle of Christianity is to love. Overflowing, unbridled love. A love that cannot be easily understood.

So, please disregard the “Christians” who do not show this. They are liars and hypocrites and slander the name of the God they claim to honor.

My Trip to D.C. (Part 2) - The Natural History Museum and more National Mall

After we toured the American History Museum, Hannah and I walked down to the Natural History museum. We were running out of siteseeing time since our ABA meeting was fast approaching. I silently thought to myself that we should just skip the meeting, because I knew I would love the Natural History Museum seeing as I love anything and everything to do with nature and the outdoors.

Anyway, here's some of what we saw.

This is where the Hope Diamond rests. And here it is.

It was a lot smaller than I expected it to be, but still a HUGE diamond.













































By this point, we were out of time for the Natural History museum, so we walked back out to the National Mall to get to our metro stop. The National Mall is so lovely to me.


This is part of the Smithsonian Castle. Beautiful.































The Washington Monument.

















Me and the US Capitol. :)

















Smithsonian Castle and the Washington Monument.
















The National Carousel






































Looking back at the Natural History Museum.






















The Smithsonian Castle. I was seriously in awe of it. I love this type of architecture.

















We made it to our meeting on time (a waste of my precious site-seeing time, in my opinion, but it was still nice). All in all, I had a beautiful day and would love to go back to D.C. when I have lots more time to look and look and look some more. It was lovely. :)

My Trip to D.C. - The National Mall and the American History Museum

I visited Washington, D.C. for the first time on October 27. My friend Hannah and I were going for an American Bar Association Meet-and-Greet that was to take place that evening, and we decided to go up early enough to get in a little siteseeing since I hadn't been there before. Our school is only a few hours from D.C., so we drove up that morning.

It poured down rain the entire drive up. It was very pretty though, driving through Northern Virginia.



Had a little car trouble along the way, but maybe it was just all the water on the road? Who knows. Anyway, we got there, finally found parking in the pouring rain and found the nearest metro stop. I had never ridden a metro before either.





The first thing I saw when we came up out of the metro tunnel was this...


And this....

How lovely are those?? We walked across the National Mall to get to the National Museum of American History which we toured for a couple of hours.




The dress belonged to Michelle Obama. She wore it for the Inaugural Ball.



This dress was worn by Carol Burnette in her skit "Went With the Wind," on the Carol Burnette show. I LOVE that skit, so I was very happy to see this.



And these are THE ruby slippers from the movie, The Wizard of Oz. I was very, very happy.

Then we saw the Julia Child's exhibit. The exhibit recreated Julia Child's kitchen and had many of her kitchen things inside. I watched Julie and Julia last year and sometimes watched Cooking with Julia when I was a kid, so this exhibit was pretty fasinating to me.






I'll continue the rest of the trip in another blog post.

Coming soon: The Natural History Museum and more National Mall

What I Wish I Could Be Doing Right Now

* Sitting on a misty cliff overlooking the sea, or sitting in a bedroom in a cabin in the mountains listening to rain falling outside
* Drinking Pike's Place coffee from Starbucks
* Eating a blueberry scone
* Reading Emma, by Jane Austen
* Listening to ambient music like this
* Writing my random thoughts in a pretty journal

Instead I am in class all day while a gloriously beautiful, heavy, grey, autumn day passes by.


Source

I've come to the conclusion that I am absolutely horrible at staying in touch with people and connecting with people on an emotional level. Sometimes I feel like I just don't care even though I know that I do care about people very, very much. But most of the time, I'm just content that my family and Chris understands me. It shouldn't be that way, though.

I don't rely on people. I'm very independent. I'm also very judgmental. The person may never know that I am being judgmental, but I am judging them nonetheless. I say that I am just trying to figure them out, but I'm making conclusions about people before I've seen enough facts to help me truly decide what type of person they really are. That's judging.

And what's even worse is that I really don't know how to change it. I am super picky about who I become good friends with, and I really don't know that many people that I would want to be good friends with let alone trust them with my secret emotions or thoughts. I think I am afraid of being judged myself, so I put up this inner barrier.

Many people don't even realize that I have this barrier in place, and I haven't always. It's just been in the past couple years, after living on my own and taking care of myself, that I have really started to shut people out. Especially after being treated badly by people that I have been very, very close to in the past. I feel like I am protecting myself from being vulnerable, because what could possibly be worse than being vulnerable?? (*sarcasm*)

I've been spending a lot of time online lately... not even interacting with people, just staying within my own thoughts mostly. And that DEFINITELY isn't helping me connect with real people face to face. If anything, I'm seeing people online (through blogs, tumblrs, etc.) that I WANT to be friends with, but it's kinda hard to be close friends with someone who you never actually see in person.

I just feel uninteresting. I feel like I put up a facade of interestingness to make people think that I actually AM interesting, but I also have a wall built up so that it's very difficult for someone to ever see the real me. Because if they see the real me, they may not think I'm interesting anymore. And then no one will want to be my friend.

It's all a big sad circle actually. I want to be closer to people, but I'm afraid of letting my guard down and possibly be considered uninteresting.

What a conundrum.

This has been a pointless post.


Source

My Tumblr

Batik

I just came across a post on the blog Thursdays about how to make your own Batik Print Scarves. The blogger breaks the steps down to where it makes sense.

I think I'm definitely going to have to try it soon!

A case of wanderlust

Today has been one of the most frustrating days ever. Fall break (and no classes for 3 class days) starts Wednesday. However, my mind and my motivation is unfortunately already on break. Even more, knowing that I get to go home to Georgia in just a few short days has me dreadfully homesick.

To top it off, I also have a horrible case of Wanderlust. I want to go new places, see new things, eat new food, take new pictures, and just experience something NEW. I'm tired of the same routine every single day.

All together, it makes me ridiculously restless and discontent which means that I have to make sure I don't get depressed because of it. Not good.

I'm just so ready to be finished with law school, back home, and working to pay off my student loans.

The next 5 years are going to be hectic and busy, but hopefully I will be debt free and able to do what I want to do with my life. 5 years is so long and so short at the same time.

The Orange Beetle

My little bug friend that I took a photo of a couple weeks ago.
Copyright, AGP, 2010

My photostream:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/charislogia/

And We Go

I made a playlist of some of my favorite songs right now. Enjoy.

And We Go

Pics from the Farmers' Market

Some views from the Farmers' Market. All of these photos were taken in the booth of James, the Jack of All Trades. :) His farm has been in his family for 180 years, and he farms it, hosts events, is a photographer, a massage therapist, and has educational tours. We talked about manure. haha!

Concerts, Apple Orchards, and Dinner Parties

This weekend has been busy busy with lots of fun activities. I don't have any plans for today (Sunday), and I'm perfectly ok with that.

Friday, I had class in the morning, and then I went to Cracker Barrel with some of my classmates/friends. Last school year, we went to Cracker Barrel every Tuesday for breakfast, but our schedules are too different this year to be able to that regularly like before. However, we did get to go on Friday. It was lovely. I always love the conversations that this group of friends has. Never a dull moment.

Friday evening, me, my roommates, and two of our guy friends went to Outback Steakhouse for a pre-concert supper. Again, conversation was wonderful, and we barely talked any about law school (even though all of us are in law school right now). I was happy for that since it seems like my entire life is lawschool right now. [Only 7 more months]. After we ate, we went to the Switchfoot Concert! I was a little irritated when we first got there to stand in line. The doors opened at 7:30. I wanted to be there at 6, but we didn't get there til almost 6:30. Hundreds and hundreds of people were already lined up. I made a decision, though, to not be angry about getting bad seats (since it was first-come-first-serve to seating) and just to be happy and enjoy myself. So I did. :)

We did finally get inside and didn't have terrible seats, so it worked out nicely. The band that opened for Switchfoot was called The Almost. I've heard a couple of their songs before, and they aren't bad on recording, but they are pretty awful in live concert. Or maybe they can just blame their sound mixer. Either way, it was so awful that many people in the crowd actually sat down with their arms crossed or took out their cell phones while this band was performing. My friends and I made a joke that "The Almost" should actually be called "The Not-Quite..." Mean. I know.

Anyway, after The Almost, Switchfoot performed. I was really, really impressed with their show. The lead singer, Jon Foreman, actually opened the show by sneaking into the crowd when the lights were off and started singing while standing up on some of the chairs (only 6 rows from us, I might add). :) He is a very talented musician and performer. They sang many of my favorite songs, my roommate Amy and I pretended to have a fan-girl meltdown, and I sang and screamed my voice hoarse.

After the concert, we all went back to our house and played Cranium Turbo. Girls beat the guys. :) All in all, it was a lovely, lovely evening.

Saturday, I went to the Farmers' Market with my roommate Meredith and my friends Kasia and Kerri. One coffee, a loaf of Amish Sourdough bread, a deep purple eggplant, a free English cucumber, and many wonderful conversations later, we decided to go to an apple orchard festival at Carter Mountain Orchard near Charlottesville, VA. I'd never been to an apple orchard before, and I am in love with them. This one is huge and covers hundreds of acres with its many varieties of apple tree. I bought a glass of cold cider while I was there that was fantastic, and I walked away with a bag full of Jonagold, Winesap, and Golden Delicious apples. (Winesap is my favorite).

After that, we went to Blenheim Vineyards which is owned by Dave Matthews of the Dave Matthews Band. Didn't see Davey-boy, but Meredith and Kasia did enjoy a wine-tasting. I tasted a couple of the varieties. I'm not much of an alcoholic beverage person, but I did like tasting the different flavors of each one. I bought a very pretty wineglass with the name of the Winery etched on the base of it.

Finished off the day at a small dinner party at the apartment of my friends, Roman and Heather. Roman and Heather are newly weds and are absolutely adorable. Heather is also a great cook. Italian-seasoned chicken drumsticks, angel hair pasta with cherry tomatoes and basil, sauteed vegetables, and chocolate frosted cake and vanilla ice cream for dessert. Perfect meal. :) After dinner, we drank rooibus tea and watch "The Count of Monte Cristo." The evening was full of absolutely wonderful conversation and lots of good times. :) Heather and I have a lot in common, and I like her very much. :) [Here's Heather's blog, if you are interested... http://auntielele.blogspot.com/ ]

Anyway, that was my weekend. Even though I haven't gotten much school work accomplished because of everything else that has been going on, I still consider it to be one of the best weekends of year so far. :)

Sunrise on Jekyll

I took these pitures last month (Aug. 2010) while on vacation with my family at Jekyll Island, GA. On the last day there, my youngest sister and I decided to wake up early enough to see the sunrise. There was heavy cloud cover, but I still got some nice shots. I hope you enjoy them. :)

Itzhak Perlman-Rachmaninoff's Vocalise

Vocalise - Rachmaninoff

I sometimes wonder what my non-student life will be like. I've been a student for 20 years now. I don't think I'll know what to do with myself when I'm in the "real world."

However, I do know some of the things that I want to do and have once I have a steady schedule.

1. I want to have a garden. Herbs, veggies, fruit, flowers, everything.
2. I want to quilt. I know how, but I just never have the time. I already know my first project.
3. I want to learn how to can foods. Jellies, jams, pickles, veggies, etc.
4. I want to learn how to cook and be known as a masterful cook by any standard.
5. I want to learn how to sew my own clothing.
6. I want to make myself sit still long enough to crochet an entire afghan.
7. I want to get married and have babies.
8. I want to have a beautifully decorated home.
9. I want to own an old house with character and history.
10. I want to relearn how to play the piano. Over 3 years of not really playing has made me forget.
11. I want to own a baby grand piano for me to relearn piano on.
12. I want to own and know how to use a digital camera other than a point-and-shoot.

I guess that's a decent start to this list for now.

If I Were...

If I were a month, I would be May. Spring and summer all mixed up. :)

If I were a time of the day, I’d be Late afternoon. busy but slowing down.

If I were a planet, I would be earth. I like it. It’s pretty. And has breathable air.

If I were a sea animal, I would be a LION FISH. oooo…. I look cute, but I could KILL you. o_O

If I were a direction, I would be South. Southern is better says the Georgia girl.

If I were a piece of furniture, I would be a futon. Multifunctional and comfortable.

If I were a liquid, I would be fresh limeade. Or seawater. I’m just that awesome. ha!

If I were a gemstone, I would be turquoise. Unique and adaptable.

If I were a tree, I would be a sugar maple.

If I were a tool, I would be a chain saw. Just because.

If I were a flower, I would be a either lavender or tiger lily.

If I were a kind of weather, I would be partly cloudy. Sunshine and shade. Happiness and sadness.

If I were a musical instrument, I would be a piano. Very adaptable to different moods.

If I were a color, I would be saturated grass green or the color of Merlot.

If I were an emotion, I would be somewhere between joy and indifference.

If I were a fruit, I would be a pomegranate.

If I were a sound, I would be wind through pine trees.

If I were an element, I would be earth or water. I can never decide which I would rather be.

If I were a car, I would be something that gets high gas mileage and is small and reliable. ;)

If I were a food, I would be pasta. How it turns out depends on what’s added to it.

If I were a place, I would be a mountaintop or a sand dune by the sea.

If I were a material, I would be wood. Strong but not indestructible.

If I were a taste, I would be lime. Sweet, sour, unusual.

If I were a scent, I would be gardenias.

If I were an animal, I would be an ocelot.

If I were an object, I would be a black ink pen.

If I were a body part, I would be eyes. Definitely.

If I were a facial expression, I would be just another pretty face.

If I were a pair of shoes, I would be black, pointy-toed flats.

Yoguri, Athens, GA

Tried a cute, little yogurt shop a few weeks ago. It's called Yoguri, located in Downtown Athens, GA. Very modern interior with lots of white, bright light. And they use all fresh ingredients. Just look at this yumminess. :)



If you're ever in Athens, GA, definitely look it up. They don't have a website, but they do have a Facebook fan page. Definitely worth the experience to visit Downtown Athens (especially during the day when the shops are open) and enjoy some of this delicious yogurt. :)

Wednesday. 7.21.10

I got really, really good news a couple days ago. I got the job for the law clerk for the superior state court judge in my circuit for the year after I graduate. That took so much stress and anxiety off my mind. The job will pay nice for a first job, and I'll be able to live with my parents to cut down on expenses and take an extra year trying to find a permanent job. Now all I have to worry about is passing my last year of law school and passing the bar exam. Piece of cake! 0_0 (that's my scared face by the way)

I leave for vacation in 10 days. I. am. so. happy. I've been waiting for this vacation since the first of May. No, really. I feel like all I do now is work. Welcome to the real world, right?

I'm planning on taking lots of pics of vacation and probably posting a few of them on here when I get back. I plan on having the best week of my year! Especially since the Monday after vacation is over, the last year of law school starts with a vengence. I can do this!!!! Power of positive thinking! haha!

Ok. That's enough of an update, I guess.

Things I Love This Week

1. Watermelon


2. Thunderstorms


3. Eet - Regina Spektor

4. Airplanes - B.O.B. Feat. Hayley Williams from Paramore

5. White Citrus Body Lotion from Bath & Body Works



6. Old Spice Commercials


7. Daylilies (This is from our yard.)




8. Ghost Hunters (I'm on a watching binge again.)


9. Sunsets (Taken at Hartwell Lake, GA)




10. Breakfast At Tiffany's