Thursday, March 31, 2011

Emotional v. Analytical

This post is spurred off a friend's post entitled "unemotional." His point is that he guards his emotions and keeps them close so that he can have more personal peace and tranquility in his life and keep drama out. He posits that if you keep emotions out of the picture and use logic and reason to approach problems, the problems will be solved much faster and with less pain than if you had allowed your emotions to dictate your response.

I understand completely your need to guard your emotions. I try to do this, too, and I always feel a little stronger when I do. However, I struggle with control and how controlled I should be and when the need to control becomes a problem.
Here's some of my thoughts on the subject, and I warn you, they're all over the place since I've been sporadically thinking these things out over the past couple weeks:

1. Being less emotional makes me feel in control of the sitation.
2. However, being in control of the situation is not a good thing if I become "controlling."
3. I have a control problem. I want to be in control of all situations at all times.
4. That's not reality.
5. And that's not what God wants from me.
6. So, I have to learn to temper my need to control and analyze every situation with a healthy dose of acceptance and intentional peace. In other words, "I have to let go and let God." Cliched, yes. But true in MANY situations.
7. Now, being in control of your emotions and being able to clearly look at a situation unclouded by irrational feelings and fears is a fantastic skill to have.
8. But where is the line drawn between being logical and analytical in a situation v. feeling more and letting your "heart" decide things?
9. I don't have the answer to this question.
10. In fact, I don't have the answers to any of these questions.
11. But, I will probably decide the answers based on analysis and logic. That's just what I do.
12. Which brings me to the statement that my friend made in his blog, when he said "I've decided what to lend emotions to and what not to lend emotions to and I lend my emotions to those things I deem worthy."
13. What is the standard for worthiness?
14. How does one deem a situation, a person, worthy of your emotions?
15. I'm curious.
16. Because there needs to be a standard since living by randomness and picking and choosing how to react as the situation presents itself is an emotional decision.
17. So what are your thoughts on that? How would you approach that?

Do you have any answers for me? Any comments?

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Saturday, March 19, 2011

I've been on spring break at home this week. Whenever I come home, I don't want to leave. Well, let me rephrase. I don't want to leave Georgia. I really do love this state. It's my home. No where else that I've lived so far has felt like home to me. It's just a temporary place to live. I really hope that I get to stay in this state.

This week has been FULL of interesting things and life-altering changes.

Thursday, Chris and I went to Athens, GA for the day. We started out at the Memorial Park and Bear Hollow Wildlife Trail off of Gran Ellen Drive off Milledge Avenue. The park is basically a little zoo with indigenous animals like bears, owls, wild turkey, eagles, white-tailed deer, and many others. I've been to the zoo many times, but this visit let me see two new wildlife exhibits - baby bear cubs and alligators. I love baby bears, or as I like to say, "baby bawars." Say just like I spelled it. ;) And I've always thought alligators were fasinating, so we watched them for a while. There was also a great horned owl exhibit. One owl looked like he was trying his best to sleep but couldn't because of all the people staring at him, but the other owl was WIDE awake. I'd never realized before how much great horned owls look like they have people eyes. I felt like that owl could have spoken to me if he really wanted to. :) After that was Gus the Groundhog who looked like he was completely bored being in his little habitat. I don't blame him. Then the wild turkeys. Two males in the cage were continuously fluffing up and fanning out their feathers trying to impress the females. I guess it's that's time of year. We didn't get to see the eagles (both bald eagles and golden eagles) since they were nesting/mating, but maybe next time I'll get to see their babies.

After the zoo, we went to the Georgia Museum of Art located on Carlton Street off of S. Lumpkin. I had seen the building before but had never gotten to go inside. I was surprised to see that it was a legitimate, large art museum. The museum featured everyone from Southern artists to Andy Warhol to Marie Cassatt and some Renaissance painters. I had seen a few of the paintings in the Jacksonville Art Museum when I went last year, but many of the paintings were new to me. Chris and I looked at every single painting and tried to notice the details of all of them. I got yelled at by a museum docent who thought I was about to touch one of the Cassatt paintings because I was pointing to a small detail. I was a little offended that he would yell at me since I was being so careful that I was even holding my breath when I leaned near a painting. But he didn't know that, so I eventually got over it and continued to enjoy myself.

After the museum, we tried a new restaurant on S. Lumpkin. It's called Cali n Tito's. It a Latin restaurant that feels like it should be on some beach in Mexico or South America. Spanish music, Hispanic/ Spanish speaking cooks and servers, and authentic Latin food. Chris got a Peruvian dish called Lomo Saltado which was chicken, onions, rice, french fries, and spices, and I got one chicken taco, one steak taco, and a side of platanos (fried plantains). My tacos had more fresh cilantro than I like (I really don't like fresh cilantro), but they were fresh and delicious. We both had mango nectar as our drink. It was a very warm day, so we sat outside surrounded by palm trees and colorful decorations. I really felt like I was in a Latin American country instead of in Athens, GA.

The rest of the day consisted in a little shopping in Downtown Athens, two movies (Tangled and Red Riding Hood), and Chick-Fil-A. All in all, it was a good day.

I was happy to have such a great day, because Chris and I have decided to take a break in our relationship. We both need to work on too many things and find out what God's calling and direction is for our lives. We both have some growing to do. Ultimately, only one of us made the decision after months of prayerful and tearful consideration, but we both agreed that it's the best decision right now. I'm heartbroken, but I'm re-learning to rely on God every day to keep me strong. So please pray for both of us individually to continue to do what God wants us to do no matter how hard it is.

I'm going to try to blog more about every day stuff. I've always wanted to have an active blog, but I've always put pressure on myself to have something deep and insightful to say. I've learned that being like that isn't always necessary, that short and entertaining posts about every day things are just as fun to read as longer posts like this. So I hope that my readers check back soon to see what new directions this blog will take.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Facts About Me

1. My name is Anna. I am 25, turning 26 in May. I am a third year law student graduating in May and taking the Bar Exam in July.

2. I am an extremely complex person, but I have learned to temper my complexities down so that I can relate to more people and be more friendly. haha!

3. Oh, I better tell you now. I like lists. That's why I'm doing this in a list format.
4. I generally say that my favorite color is green, but that's more a default favorite since my true favorites change by the moment. ;)

5. I'm a Southern woman through and through. I'm in Virginia now for law school but it's not Southern enough for me. ;) I was born and raised in Georgia and plan on going back there after law school and probably never living anywhere else for the rest of my life (unless God specifically tells me to go somewhere else).

6. I am not married, nor do I have children, but I have been dating a man named Chris for over 3.5 years now. No wedding in the works yet, but all in the proper time.

7. I have two younger sisters. Being the oldest sister has really influenced how I look at life. I'm more responsible and have a stronger since of familial duty than either of my sisters do, I think.

8. I love music, even "strange" music. I wouldn't go so far as to say that I am in the indie scene, but I have a very wide range of tastes from folk to country to metal to pop to classical to instrumental to rock to hip hop. I have so many "favorite" artists that it really does no good to list them all out.

9. I love food. My love of food is so strong that I am surprised that I don't weigh 300 lbs. I like Southern home cooking just as much as Thai or Indian. I'll try almost anything once, and I like to experiment with spices when I cook. So far, all but one thing has turned out tasty. ;)

10. I love the internet. I'm not addicted to it since I can go for weeks without checking anything when i want to, but I just really like the internet. There are so many interesting things to read and see and so many beautiful photos and other art that people have created. Also, basically unlimited music! :)

11. I currently maintain 4 blogs, 3 of which are mostly photographs I find here and there that I really like. The 4th is more of a traditional blog. I don't post there as often as I'd like, but sometimes I feel like I don't have anything interesting to say, so I don't bother.

12. (I'm almost finished! I promise!) I've always been a voracious reader. I remember being so excited when the summer book club would start at the local library. I would go with my little canvas tote bag and fill it up with picture books, novels, fairy tales, educational books... anything I could get my hands on. I wish that I had kept a list of everything that I read up until this point in my life. I'm sure the list would be intimidating! haha! I hope my future children love reading and knowledge as much as I do.

Ok. That's enough for now. I could go on for a while, but I'll stop. ;)