Wednesday, November 24, 2010

My ranting blog ended up being a "give thanks" blog....

I've been spending some time recently evaluating my life and deciding whether I am happy or not with where I am.


1. My relationship with my boyfriend is not perfect (but no relationship ever is).
2. I have an enormous amount of student loan debt.
3. I'm fifteen pounds heavier than I want to be.
4. I am unmotivated to do my assignments for school.
5. I'm always tired.
6. I spend way too much time wasting time.
7. I haven't read near as many books as I planned to by this time in my life.
8. I can count my true friends on one hand.
9. I haven't marked anything off my bucket list in a very long time.
10. Law school is killing me softly.
11. Law school makes me feel incompetent and unintelligent.
12. I really feel like I'm stuck in the same place while everyone around me continues to move forward. I've felt this way off and on for a very long time.
13. I struggle with depression.

1. I have a boyfriend, and he loves me and is willing to work hard to fix our problems.
2. I have a job for the year following graduation.
3. I am not obese, and I have no food allergies, so I truly enjoy the food I eat.
4. I only have 3.5 weeks left of this semester.
5. I have a wonderful family that loves me and supports me in any way that I need.
6. I have true friends to count.
7. I have my senses of sight, hearing, smell, touch, and taste.
8. I wasn't killed in that car wreck in 2008.
9. Even though I struggle with depression, I have people that I can talk to about it, and depression will not drag me down.
10. I only have 6 months left of law school.
11. I am only as unhappy and dissatisfied as I choose to be ("I have learned, in whatever state I am, therewith to be content." - The Apostle Paul)
12. I am intelligent. I am competent. The competitive agressiveness of law school is a pointless crapshoot since high grades doth not a successful person make.
13. I have the ability to be and do anything I want to.
14. Jesus loves me.

The more I write this post, the more I realize that what started as a pity post about how disappointing my life is has become a reality check to myself. I am myself. I am not my circumstances. I am not my surroundings. And I can choose to not allow my circumstances and surroundings to negatively affect me.

This has been a post.

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