(via LegallyNoted) (*edited for language*)
1.You’re aging in dog years
2.You look at everything as a potential lawsuit: (1) The bums that repeatedly beg you for money on the corner are potential trespassers; (2) your friend’s drunk dialing to tell you “what a fun night you’re missing” is negligent infliction of emotional distress; (3) your neighbor’s loud music is an action for nuisance
3.You openly fantasize about blacking out the night of the bar exam
4.You have legal Turettes. If someone looks at you the wrong way, you automatically banter back with unintelligble legalease: Hearsay! Rule in Dumper’s Case.
5.You wonder if Miranda or Shelly would be hot if they were girls and not rules of law.
6.The most action you’ve gotten was doing problems on fertile octogenarian and loss of consortium
7.You’re cut off from the outside world. There’s an oil spill? Mel Gibson is crazy? Carrie Underwood is married?
8.Can’t wait to burn your barbri or kaplan books
9.You passed out at the library and woke up with highlighter on your face and a puddle of drool smearing the print of your MBE book.
10. You’ve contemplated writing letters to the national bar examiner’s citing this test as cruel and unusual punishment, detrimental to your well-being and personal life.
11. You spent Fourth of July Weekend going over contracts. Using your study break to accomplish some anti-social urge (e.g. plucking out grey hairs, squeezing zits, or creeping on ex’s Facebooks). Happy %&^$ Fourth of July!
12. You’ve had dreams about legal concepts including personal jurisdiction
13. People at Starbucks know your order by heart–and despite the $5 investment–it’s still not making a dent in your extreme exhaustion.
14. Everyone at the library smells like a combo of B.O., nicotine, and coffee.
15. You just wanted to take a quick nap, woke up 4 hours later not knowing *WTH* was going on, what day it was, what month it was, or even if you had slept right through the bar.
16. You resent your friends who were smart enough to get their MBA.
17. None of your family and friends understand how important the bar is. It is NOT “just a test”.
18. You wonder how someone as warped as Blagojevich could ever have passed the bar or wonder who he paid?
19. Your dog decides to dig your dark chocolate covered espresso beans from the bottom of your 100 lb book bag–causing you to spend the night in the emergency vet clinic while he gets his stomach pumped. You leave with a whopping $500 bill.*
20. Your significant other decides to have an overactive social life under the guise of “leaving you alone to study”. Yes, dancing on platforms while I keep getting 30%’s on MBE Set 5’s in the library on a Saturday night sounds like a fair trade-off.