Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
All you need is love?
This post is springboarded off of my friend Jonathan's post about love. Here's what he writes....
I believe that love is a choice. I think you know that you love someone when you are willing to give up what you want or at least compromise on what you want in order for the other person to be happy as well. And sure, anyone can make a choice to be self-sacrificing. But I think that love makes the self-sacrifice okay. You recognize that you are giving up something you want, but instead of doing it grudgingly, you do it with contentment, because you are happy because the other person is happy.
Also, I think love of friends and "love" are so similar that they are almost indistinguishable sometimes. Especially if you are "in love" with a very good friend.
You can love more than one person at one time, but again, it comes down to the choice. I still love Chris, but I have chosen to not be with him anymore. It isn't healthy, and it isn't my future. And my heart is most definitely open to loving someone else and is well on its way. So I am loving two people at the same time. And I will always love Chris. But that love is a steadfast, permanent love - not a passionate "let's get married" love. I don't know if that makes sense or not, but that's the only way I know how to describe it without going into more detail.
Attraction can be instant. And lust can most definitely be instant. But I think true love takes longer than that. The butterflies and obsession are not permanent.
Love can most definitely be harmful. I mean, look at history and look at all the stupid decisions that were made because of love. Romeo and Juliet, Helen of Troy, Henry VIII and his obsessive search for something to complete him, and the millions of others that haven't made the history books. Love clouds logic. And when you aren't thinking logically, you screw up.
Our culture doesn't help that at all. We have songs like "All you need is love" and "in the name of love" and "I believe in a thing called love." All based on the emotional high that you get when you are attracted to someone. That type of love will destroy you.
I try my hardest to base my love off of what is time tested and true. I Corinthians 13 is a good start. Love is patient. Love is kind. Love does not hold offense. It is not envious. It is not selfish. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
I do have a great example of love in my parents. They made the choice before they even got married to never consider divorce. (However my mom always puts in an addendum that says even though divorce is not an option, murder is. haha!). I've seen them fight, scream, slam doors, not talk to each other for hours. But they always make the conscious choice to attempt to calm down, talk things out, and come to some sort of compromise that they can both work with. And my sisters and I can visibly see the love they have for each other through their choices to make things work no matter how hard it is.
The bottom line is that people are selfish. We want what WE want. And our basest nature demands that we ALWAYS get what we want and SCREW the world! But that is not love. Love is purposefully choosing to put someone else above you (or at the very minimum equal to you).
"What is it about love? What is it about being in love that make people so crazy and just borderline irrational? I feel like even as old as I am (26) I don’t have a healthy handle on what it is to actually love someone. Isn’t this something that you learn with time or something? You see so many people posting about “loving this” or “loving that” and you just sit and wonder sometimes about what it is exactly that they are feeling.
There are so many questions that I have about the subject such as:
1. How do you KNOW when you are in love with something?
2. How is the love different for people that you are just friends with?
3. Can you love more than one person at the same time?
4. Can love be instant? Or does it take a great deal of time?
5. Can it be harmful?"
I believe that love is a choice. I think you know that you love someone when you are willing to give up what you want or at least compromise on what you want in order for the other person to be happy as well. And sure, anyone can make a choice to be self-sacrificing. But I think that love makes the self-sacrifice okay. You recognize that you are giving up something you want, but instead of doing it grudgingly, you do it with contentment, because you are happy because the other person is happy.
Also, I think love of friends and "love" are so similar that they are almost indistinguishable sometimes. Especially if you are "in love" with a very good friend.
You can love more than one person at one time, but again, it comes down to the choice. I still love Chris, but I have chosen to not be with him anymore. It isn't healthy, and it isn't my future. And my heart is most definitely open to loving someone else and is well on its way. So I am loving two people at the same time. And I will always love Chris. But that love is a steadfast, permanent love - not a passionate "let's get married" love. I don't know if that makes sense or not, but that's the only way I know how to describe it without going into more detail.
Attraction can be instant. And lust can most definitely be instant. But I think true love takes longer than that. The butterflies and obsession are not permanent.
Love can most definitely be harmful. I mean, look at history and look at all the stupid decisions that were made because of love. Romeo and Juliet, Helen of Troy, Henry VIII and his obsessive search for something to complete him, and the millions of others that haven't made the history books. Love clouds logic. And when you aren't thinking logically, you screw up.
Our culture doesn't help that at all. We have songs like "All you need is love" and "in the name of love" and "I believe in a thing called love." All based on the emotional high that you get when you are attracted to someone. That type of love will destroy you.
I try my hardest to base my love off of what is time tested and true. I Corinthians 13 is a good start. Love is patient. Love is kind. Love does not hold offense. It is not envious. It is not selfish. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
I do have a great example of love in my parents. They made the choice before they even got married to never consider divorce. (However my mom always puts in an addendum that says even though divorce is not an option, murder is. haha!). I've seen them fight, scream, slam doors, not talk to each other for hours. But they always make the conscious choice to attempt to calm down, talk things out, and come to some sort of compromise that they can both work with. And my sisters and I can visibly see the love they have for each other through their choices to make things work no matter how hard it is.
The bottom line is that people are selfish. We want what WE want. And our basest nature demands that we ALWAYS get what we want and SCREW the world! But that is not love. Love is purposefully choosing to put someone else above you (or at the very minimum equal to you).
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Friday, April 15, 2011
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Jesu, Joy of Man's Desire
"This remarkably beautiful video, uploaded to YouTube one day before the TÅhoku earthquake and tsunami, turns out to be an ad for Sharp’s SH-08C handset. It is, nonetheless, something you shouldn’t miss: in a tranquil forest, a single wooden ball rolls down a stepped wooden ramp, continuously, for two minutes. At each step, it falls and strikes a wooden bar tuned to play a single note of the 10th movement of Bach’s Herz und Mund und Tat und Leben, BWV 147, commonly known by its English title, Jesu, Joy of Man’s Desiring. Wait ’till you see how they handle the sustained notes." (quoting MAKE blog.)
Monday, April 4, 2011
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Barristers' Banquet 2011
Last night was the Barristers' Banquet at my law school. (Think formal dinner with a speaker and doorprizes!) I had a great night with my lovely friends! I'm really going to miss all of them after graduation. We had a wonderful time last night, though. The food was amazing - hors d'oeuvres, green salad, Chicken Oscar, and apple caramel cake and coffee. Everyone looked beautiful, and the location was stunning.
All in all, it was an ALMOST perfect night. :)
The first picture is of me (on the left) and my roommate Amy (on the right). The bottom picture is (l-r) my roommate Meredith, my friend Anna, me, my roommate Amy, and my friend Stephanie.
All in all, it was an ALMOST perfect night. :)
The first picture is of me (on the left) and my roommate Amy (on the right). The bottom picture is (l-r) my roommate Meredith, my friend Anna, me, my roommate Amy, and my friend Stephanie.
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Emotional v. Analytical
This post is spurred off a friend's post entitled "unemotional." His point is that he guards his emotions and keeps them close so that he can have more personal peace and tranquility in his life and keep drama out. He posits that if you keep emotions out of the picture and use logic and reason to approach problems, the problems will be solved much faster and with less pain than if you had allowed your emotions to dictate your response.
I understand completely your need to guard your emotions. I try to do this, too, and I always feel a little stronger when I do. However, I struggle with control and how controlled I should be and when the need to control becomes a problem.
Here's some of my thoughts on the subject, and I warn you, they're all over the place since I've been sporadically thinking these things out over the past couple weeks:
1. Being less emotional makes me feel in control of the sitation.
2. However, being in control of the situation is not a good thing if I become "controlling."
3. I have a control problem. I want to be in control of all situations at all times.
4. That's not reality.
5. And that's not what God wants from me.
6. So, I have to learn to temper my need to control and analyze every situation with a healthy dose of acceptance and intentional peace. In other words, "I have to let go and let God." Cliched, yes. But true in MANY situations.
7. Now, being in control of your emotions and being able to clearly look at a situation unclouded by irrational feelings and fears is a fantastic skill to have.
8. But where is the line drawn between being logical and analytical in a situation v. feeling more and letting your "heart" decide things?
9. I don't have the answer to this question.
10. In fact, I don't have the answers to any of these questions.
11. But, I will probably decide the answers based on analysis and logic. That's just what I do.
12. Which brings me to the statement that my friend made in his blog, when he said "I've decided what to lend emotions to and what not to lend emotions to and I lend my emotions to those things I deem worthy."
13. What is the standard for worthiness?
14. How does one deem a situation, a person, worthy of your emotions?
15. I'm curious.
16. Because there needs to be a standard since living by randomness and picking and choosing how to react as the situation presents itself is an emotional decision.
17. So what are your thoughts on that? How would you approach that?
Do you have any answers for me? Any comments?
I understand completely your need to guard your emotions. I try to do this, too, and I always feel a little stronger when I do. However, I struggle with control and how controlled I should be and when the need to control becomes a problem.
Here's some of my thoughts on the subject, and I warn you, they're all over the place since I've been sporadically thinking these things out over the past couple weeks:
1. Being less emotional makes me feel in control of the sitation.
2. However, being in control of the situation is not a good thing if I become "controlling."
3. I have a control problem. I want to be in control of all situations at all times.
4. That's not reality.
5. And that's not what God wants from me.
6. So, I have to learn to temper my need to control and analyze every situation with a healthy dose of acceptance and intentional peace. In other words, "I have to let go and let God." Cliched, yes. But true in MANY situations.
7. Now, being in control of your emotions and being able to clearly look at a situation unclouded by irrational feelings and fears is a fantastic skill to have.
8. But where is the line drawn between being logical and analytical in a situation v. feeling more and letting your "heart" decide things?
9. I don't have the answer to this question.
10. In fact, I don't have the answers to any of these questions.
11. But, I will probably decide the answers based on analysis and logic. That's just what I do.
12. Which brings me to the statement that my friend made in his blog, when he said "I've decided what to lend emotions to and what not to lend emotions to and I lend my emotions to those things I deem worthy."
13. What is the standard for worthiness?
14. How does one deem a situation, a person, worthy of your emotions?
15. I'm curious.
16. Because there needs to be a standard since living by randomness and picking and choosing how to react as the situation presents itself is an emotional decision.
17. So what are your thoughts on that? How would you approach that?
Do you have any answers for me? Any comments?
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Saturday, March 19, 2011
I've been on spring break at home this week. Whenever I come home, I don't want to leave. Well, let me rephrase. I don't want to leave Georgia. I really do love this state. It's my home. No where else that I've lived so far has felt like home to me. It's just a temporary place to live. I really hope that I get to stay in this state.
This week has been FULL of interesting things and life-altering changes.
Thursday, Chris and I went to Athens, GA for the day. We started out at the Memorial Park and Bear Hollow Wildlife Trail off of Gran Ellen Drive off Milledge Avenue. The park is basically a little zoo with indigenous animals like bears, owls, wild turkey, eagles, white-tailed deer, and many others. I've been to the zoo many times, but this visit let me see two new wildlife exhibits - baby bear cubs and alligators. I love baby bears, or as I like to say, "baby bawars." Say just like I spelled it. ;) And I've always thought alligators were fasinating, so we watched them for a while. There was also a great horned owl exhibit. One owl looked like he was trying his best to sleep but couldn't because of all the people staring at him, but the other owl was WIDE awake. I'd never realized before how much great horned owls look like they have people eyes. I felt like that owl could have spoken to me if he really wanted to. :) After that was Gus the Groundhog who looked like he was completely bored being in his little habitat. I don't blame him. Then the wild turkeys. Two males in the cage were continuously fluffing up and fanning out their feathers trying to impress the females. I guess it's that's time of year. We didn't get to see the eagles (both bald eagles and golden eagles) since they were nesting/mating, but maybe next time I'll get to see their babies.
After the zoo, we went to the Georgia Museum of Art located on Carlton Street off of S. Lumpkin. I had seen the building before but had never gotten to go inside. I was surprised to see that it was a legitimate, large art museum. The museum featured everyone from Southern artists to Andy Warhol to Marie Cassatt and some Renaissance painters. I had seen a few of the paintings in the Jacksonville Art Museum when I went last year, but many of the paintings were new to me. Chris and I looked at every single painting and tried to notice the details of all of them. I got yelled at by a museum docent who thought I was about to touch one of the Cassatt paintings because I was pointing to a small detail. I was a little offended that he would yell at me since I was being so careful that I was even holding my breath when I leaned near a painting. But he didn't know that, so I eventually got over it and continued to enjoy myself.
After the museum, we tried a new restaurant on S. Lumpkin. It's called Cali n Tito's. It a Latin restaurant that feels like it should be on some beach in Mexico or South America. Spanish music, Hispanic/ Spanish speaking cooks and servers, and authentic Latin food. Chris got a Peruvian dish called Lomo Saltado which was chicken, onions, rice, french fries, and spices, and I got one chicken taco, one steak taco, and a side of platanos (fried plantains). My tacos had more fresh cilantro than I like (I really don't like fresh cilantro), but they were fresh and delicious. We both had mango nectar as our drink. It was a very warm day, so we sat outside surrounded by palm trees and colorful decorations. I really felt like I was in a Latin American country instead of in Athens, GA.
The rest of the day consisted in a little shopping in Downtown Athens, two movies (Tangled and Red Riding Hood), and Chick-Fil-A. All in all, it was a good day.
I was happy to have such a great day, because Chris and I have decided to take a break in our relationship. We both need to work on too many things and find out what God's calling and direction is for our lives. We both have some growing to do. Ultimately, only one of us made the decision after months of prayerful and tearful consideration, but we both agreed that it's the best decision right now. I'm heartbroken, but I'm re-learning to rely on God every day to keep me strong. So please pray for both of us individually to continue to do what God wants us to do no matter how hard it is.
I'm going to try to blog more about every day stuff. I've always wanted to have an active blog, but I've always put pressure on myself to have something deep and insightful to say. I've learned that being like that isn't always necessary, that short and entertaining posts about every day things are just as fun to read as longer posts like this. So I hope that my readers check back soon to see what new directions this blog will take.
This week has been FULL of interesting things and life-altering changes.
Thursday, Chris and I went to Athens, GA for the day. We started out at the Memorial Park and Bear Hollow Wildlife Trail off of Gran Ellen Drive off Milledge Avenue. The park is basically a little zoo with indigenous animals like bears, owls, wild turkey, eagles, white-tailed deer, and many others. I've been to the zoo many times, but this visit let me see two new wildlife exhibits - baby bear cubs and alligators. I love baby bears, or as I like to say, "baby bawars." Say just like I spelled it. ;) And I've always thought alligators were fasinating, so we watched them for a while. There was also a great horned owl exhibit. One owl looked like he was trying his best to sleep but couldn't because of all the people staring at him, but the other owl was WIDE awake. I'd never realized before how much great horned owls look like they have people eyes. I felt like that owl could have spoken to me if he really wanted to. :) After that was Gus the Groundhog who looked like he was completely bored being in his little habitat. I don't blame him. Then the wild turkeys. Two males in the cage were continuously fluffing up and fanning out their feathers trying to impress the females. I guess it's that's time of year. We didn't get to see the eagles (both bald eagles and golden eagles) since they were nesting/mating, but maybe next time I'll get to see their babies.
After the zoo, we went to the Georgia Museum of Art located on Carlton Street off of S. Lumpkin. I had seen the building before but had never gotten to go inside. I was surprised to see that it was a legitimate, large art museum. The museum featured everyone from Southern artists to Andy Warhol to Marie Cassatt and some Renaissance painters. I had seen a few of the paintings in the Jacksonville Art Museum when I went last year, but many of the paintings were new to me. Chris and I looked at every single painting and tried to notice the details of all of them. I got yelled at by a museum docent who thought I was about to touch one of the Cassatt paintings because I was pointing to a small detail. I was a little offended that he would yell at me since I was being so careful that I was even holding my breath when I leaned near a painting. But he didn't know that, so I eventually got over it and continued to enjoy myself.
After the museum, we tried a new restaurant on S. Lumpkin. It's called Cali n Tito's. It a Latin restaurant that feels like it should be on some beach in Mexico or South America. Spanish music, Hispanic/ Spanish speaking cooks and servers, and authentic Latin food. Chris got a Peruvian dish called Lomo Saltado which was chicken, onions, rice, french fries, and spices, and I got one chicken taco, one steak taco, and a side of platanos (fried plantains). My tacos had more fresh cilantro than I like (I really don't like fresh cilantro), but they were fresh and delicious. We both had mango nectar as our drink. It was a very warm day, so we sat outside surrounded by palm trees and colorful decorations. I really felt like I was in a Latin American country instead of in Athens, GA.
The rest of the day consisted in a little shopping in Downtown Athens, two movies (Tangled and Red Riding Hood), and Chick-Fil-A. All in all, it was a good day.
I was happy to have such a great day, because Chris and I have decided to take a break in our relationship. We both need to work on too many things and find out what God's calling and direction is for our lives. We both have some growing to do. Ultimately, only one of us made the decision after months of prayerful and tearful consideration, but we both agreed that it's the best decision right now. I'm heartbroken, but I'm re-learning to rely on God every day to keep me strong. So please pray for both of us individually to continue to do what God wants us to do no matter how hard it is.
I'm going to try to blog more about every day stuff. I've always wanted to have an active blog, but I've always put pressure on myself to have something deep and insightful to say. I've learned that being like that isn't always necessary, that short and entertaining posts about every day things are just as fun to read as longer posts like this. So I hope that my readers check back soon to see what new directions this blog will take.
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